(Pt. 1 of 2)

Have you ever wondered, Why do I do that?! Why do I get so frustrated about this? Why am I so opposite from my husband/wife/kid/friend? If you haven’t, I’m sure someone else has wondered it about you. 🙂

The Edge of Despair

Several years ago, I was teetering at the edge of despair. In the middle of the day, I would go to my room, lock the door, throw myself on the bed, and sob. Life seemed pointlessly, hopelessly, endlessly imprisoning. The strange thing was that, from the outside, everything seemed great.

I had a great relationship with Jesus, a loving marriage, awesome kids that people always complimented me on, a roof over my head, food to eat, two vehicles, plenty of clothes to wear, and meaningful work. It just didn’t make sense. I would “step outside myself” and think, “This is ridiculous! There’s no logical reason for this. You need to be grateful. Think about how much more you have than your friends around the world.”

The pep talks helped a little, but still… I would be driving down the road, and my mind would wander, “What if… What if I just happened to end the misery right now?” A wrestling match would ensue inside my head. I actually started to scare myself.

By the grace of God, at this time I learned about something I had no idea I needed to know and in two very different ways: 1. Through a lovely woman of God who was in my life, and 2. Through a popular business conference to which my son had won a scholarship. This lesson is one of the biggest reasons I’m alive and in the healthy place I am today.

(Let me word it straight to you, just like these people did for me.)

Why You Do What You Do

God wired you with the same four emotional needs as every other human. You meet those needs in healthy, unhealthy or neutral ways. Some people deny they have these needs, but they have them just the same. Once you see it in yourself, you’ll recognize it all over the place.

1. Stability (certainty)
2. Variety (uncertainty)
3. Significance (value)
4. Love (connection)

Some of those you may look at and think, I don’t need that. In part, that is because you weight them differently. You give priority to one or two over the others. Here are some examples.

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To Be Continued . . .